Don’t Blame The Victim

A big part of having success with the Law of Attraction is understanding that “thoughts are things” and that our feelings, thoughts, beliefs help to co-create our reality. Other factors that also influence our lives include karma, divine timing, desire, destiny, free will and that omnipresent reality of “shit happens.”

When something really bad happens to someone – lets say a serious diagnoses, losing a job, a big car crash, and then a supposedly well-meaning “spiritual friend” asks them, “ what thoughts were you having that would cause this?”

Well, this scenario just makes me crazy.

We would never ask an abused toddler, “Hey kid, what thoughts did you have that created these beatings?”

So, unless someone is sitting around thinking, “Wow, wouldn’t it be cool if I manage to get stage 4 colon cancer so I can scare myself and my family and go on a multi-year journey to fight the cancer and maybe live?”

It’s highly unlikely any of us have consciously had that thought or any thought to choose a bad event. So, while it is true that we cause things with our thoughts, fears and beliefs, it is also true that there are other factors that are at work here.

We all benefit from being more aware and more mindful of our thoughts and as much as possible trying to keep our thoughts positive, but it’s also not useful to “blame the victim,” and kick them when their down, by suggesting they caused the problem.

We are not privy to their soul’s purpose and path. We don’t know what trials and tribulations they agreed to before incarnating in this lifetime, so let’s do what we signed up for: to be their friend, cheerleader, support system, safe place to land. Lets hug them with our arms and provide emotional safety for them.

I often tell my closest friends that I am always there for them when they need a place to rant and rave and vent. I can create a safe place for their expression and then bring them back into a loving frequency. (and they do the same for me)

Here’s to a kinder, gentler, more compassionate world of loving support for all.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle

The Everything Book

When I first got married there were many days when I wished that Brian came with an Owner’s Manual! There seemed to be so many things I didn’t know about him and things he had told me but I had “forgotten,” and I knew if I had an owner’s manual, life together would be so much easier (and more fun!).

This is why I wrote The Everything Book: The Essential Details About The One You Love.

It’s a “fill in the blank” book to complete and share with your partner. It is designed to capture the essential details about the one you love. And, it’s a fun and playful way to communicate with your partner exactly what will make you happy!

Whether you’ve been together three months or thirty years (or more!), there is always more to learn about the one you love. Unless you have a photographic memory, it’s hard to remember all the facts, as well as the little details that make someone feel special.