Getting Comfortable with Uncertainty

And Just Like That, the title of the new Sex and The City series, comes from Carrie watching Mr. Big suddenly die in the first episode and then, just like that, her life is changed forever.

Since the beginning of the pandemic, nearly all of us have had our own (maybe many) life altering experiences throwing us into the deep end of the pool of uncertainty.

From having to worry about if we would run out of toilet paper, to catching a life-threatening virus, to changes in every aspect of daily life, life as we once knew it has changed. And NO ONE knows anything for certain anymore, in spite of the constant speculation by cable TV hosts trying to figure it out.

According to Dr Christine Carter, “Living with so much uncertainty is hard. Human beings crave information about the future in the same way we crave food, sex, and other primary rewards. Our brains perceive ambiguity as a threat, and they try to protect us by diminishing our ability to focus on anything other than creating certainty.”

It’s time to make peace and learn how to accept uncertainty and to “be with not knowing.”

My 10 Steps to Getting Comfortable with Uncertainty:

1) Accept that normal is not coming back. Right now, there are no reliable answers, and no one is coming to “save us.” Choose to accept the reality of where I am today.

2) Believe and trust that I can have a good life without having the certainty of how things will turn out.

3) Know that I have the resilience, tools, and support to figure out what to do next.

4) When I go down the rabbit hole of worry, doubt, and fear, I remember not to believe every thought that I have. Just because I am having a thought doesn’t make it true.

5) Notice what my “worry/fear” triggers are and smooth them out and comfort myself with self-care (and I love EFT tapping!)

6) Stop doing the behavior that is triggering my fear/worry – whether it’s scrolling through social media or obsessing over the future, become the adult that you are and choose to stop it.

7) Practice playing with my imagination – when I’m having negative thoughts, I turn them around with positive daydreaming beginning with the phrase, “wouldn’t it be lovely if…”

8) Stay present and live in the moment. Rather than catastrophizing about the future, I will ask myself, what’s the next thing I can do (for 5 or 10 minutes) that will ground me and bring me joy? And then go do it.

9) Create and stick to a healthy living routine. Knowing that I am solely responsible for my emotional management, I have created a daily routine for myself that includes healthy eating, a twice daily practice on my Heartmath Inner Balance app, physical exercise, journaling, aromatherapy baths, and practicing being a Pleasure Puppy (see short video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoUtJp3zF7Q&t=3s)

10) Reminding myself of my favorite line from A Course in Miracles: “In this moment I have everything that I need.”

While I admit that I find it highly annoying that my life is no longer predictable, I have come to the conclusion that I can still have a great life, it just looks a lot different that I excepted.

Perhaps Lori Deschene sums it up best: “Peace is accepting today, releasing yesterday, and giving up the need to control tomorrow.”

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses,

Arielle