Learning to Love The Unlovable

Some people are easier to love than others.

It’s easy to love the people who love, support, and nurture you.

The ones that accept you for who you are.

The ones that will always be there for you.

And then there are the difficult ones.

The judgmental and sometimes downright mean ones.

The ones that drive you crazy and/or make you miserable or both!

I once heard Marianne Williamson describe it this way:

“If you saw a small child fall down and skin their knee, you would quickly wrap your arms around them and give them comfort.  But when an adult is acting out and misbehaving or being cruel, we can’t see the wounds that are the source of their pain and actions.“

Most of the time, whatever they are doing or saying, has little to do with you, they are acting out of old pain, disappointment, etc., and you have become the unfortunate victim of their history.

The challenge for me (and many of us) is that when these people are related to us, we need to find a way to stay open to loving and accepting them.

And most importantly, forgiving them.

Not an easy task.

One of my favorite processes in my spiritual tool kit, one that harnesses the power of forgiveness while being wonderfully healing, is called Ho’Oponopono.

It can be utilized not only for forgiveness, but all kinds of emotional healing and reconciliation.  I first learned about it from Joe Vitale and his book Zero Limits.

So, what is this miraculous thing, Ho’Oponopono?

It’s crazy easy and simple to do. You begin by taking full responsibility for what is going on.  Then, close your eyes and imagine that you and this difficult person are one and say to yourself:

I love you, please forgive me, I’m sorry, and thank you.

Ho’oponopono is based on the idea that anything that happens to you (or that you perceive) and the entire world where you live, is your own creation and thus, it is entirely your responsibility.

One hundred percent, no exceptions.

What has happened is your responsibility AND, it doesn’t mean it’s your fault – it just means that you are responsible for healing yourself in order to heal whatever or whoever it is that appears to you as a problem.

You simply repeat these four simple phases several times:

I love you, please forgive me, I’m sorry, and thank you.

I find that when I do this (sometimes I do it everyday), it really makes a difference.

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle