LOVE: What Are YOU Needed For?

My sister Debbie loved her Rabbi, Baruch Ezagui, particularly for his deep wisdom and very special storytelling prowess. One day the Rabbi shared with me a very profound story about what love is and what love is not.

The Salmon, the Fisher, and the King

A fisherman was fishing in the middle of nowhere. He feels a tug on his line and sees a most magnificent salmon. As he is reeling in the salmon, he knows that not only is this the most beautiful salmon he has ever seen, but that the King loves salmon and if he brings it to him, it will make him a national hero.

The fisherman put the prized salmon into a bucket of water and headed to shore.

While hanging out in the bucket, the Salmon thought to himself, “At least I am still alive; maybe there is hope for me.”

When the fisherman arrived at the castle, the guards at the gate took one look at the salmon and agreed, the King will be thrilled to have it.

The fisherman was then brought to the throne room where everyone gathered over the bucket and agreed that this was the most amazing salmon ever.

The King looked into the bucket and said: “This is beyond my wildest dreams. I have never seen such a salmon in my life.”

The salmon, knowing he had been praised by the King, now thought to himself,
“I am going to live like a prince! The King is going to take care of me.”
Then the King proclaimed, “This salmon is so beautiful; I am going to eat it for my dinner. Take it immediately to the chef for tonight’s state dinner.”

The Salmon was now deeply depressed upon hearing his impending fate.

As the chef began to slice the salmon, before he got to the head, the salmon spoke to the chef and said: “My friend, the King does not love salmon. If he did, I would still be swimming in the ocean!”

Rabbi Ezagui explains the meaning of this story:

“True love is loving the person for what they love, who they are, for what they stand for. If you go into a marriage loving what you love, not what they love, that is not love. Real love is not finding someone to hold your hand and find common ground with; the institution of marriage is to push you out of your comfort zone, to lift you up above what you need, so that you can provide what you what you’re needed for.”

According to Rabbi Ezagui, marriage is the highest calling of human potential. He quotes Rebbe Lubavitch, who said: “When you learn to love someone else as you love yourself, when you get to that level and you can truly authentically say that other person is me (at a soul level), that is the purpose of life.”

One of Rabbi Ezagui’s colleagues, Rabbi Mendl, claims that as long as the man treats his wife like a queen, he will be a king, an attitude that should be ingrained long before the wedding and carried on long after the reality of life kicks in. People with strong marriages consider this idea as non-negotiable.

Rabbi Ezagui says: “The concept of prayer itself is the preparation for marriage. It’s not that I stand with my hands out asking for mercy or G-d’s kindness. In Judaism prayer is the way to connect as an opportunity to put yourself on the same wavelength as the blessing, The answer is already there. It’s just “Dear G-d period.” It is about acknowledging that everything and every moment is a reflection of God’s inner existence, the moment I recognize that I don’t need anything. God doesn’t need. I don’t need. What is required is to find in my soul what I am needed for.”

Wishing you love, laughter, and magical kisses.

Arielle