The Agony & Ecstasy of Soulmate Love

Artwork by www.sharronkatz.com

Soulmate couples have a secret they rarely speak about: they feel fortunate to no longer have to search for true love because they are living it every day. They realize how blessed they are to be spending their days in the embrace of their best friend, lover, and sacred partner. Rather than brag, or shout it from the rooftops, they quietly relish their relationship and give thanks, from a deep place of gratitude, that they have another day to spend together. Soulmate love heals people while it stamps out loneliness and brings so much more happiness.

How do I know this? During the past 17 years with my soulmate, Brian, we often talk about how blessed we are to be together and experience a relationship that exceeds our wildest dreams.   I also began quietly asking the other soulmate couples we know what life is like for them. The answers I’ve heard are remarkably similar. In whispered and hushed tones, they have shared with me the wonders and beauty of their marriages. Why have we been whispering? For two reasons: we are in awe of the sacredness of the union and because as my friend Monte Farber (co-author of The Soulmate Path) says “it’s not polite to rub in other people’s faces how wonderful life can be when you are sharing it with your soulmate.”

Soulmate relationships can be compelling, intense, loving communions that have a divine quality to them. They are about connecting on a deep “soul” level as much as every other dimension of human interaction. The soulmate couples we’ve met choose to live with honesty, transparency, deeper love, devotion, openness, vulnerability and trust. My husband, Brian Hilliard, explains it this way: “In a soulmate relationship one plus one does not equal two, it equals eleven. The love generated in this equation is a gift to the soulmate couple and to the world at large.”

“The level of trust between soulmates is profound— and being able to trust another being on so many levels makes life so much easier.  You soulmate will mirror your best parts and your shadow self, giving you a chance to heal,” explains Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, author of Your Interfaith Wedding.

This is why the world needs soulmate couples to find each other—as many as possible, and as soon as possible. It is a surefire way to fill our planet with more love.

I asked some soulmates I know to share their bliss:

“I am experiencing a “full contentment” I have never known. A relationship such as this does not happen TO someone, it happens WITH someone who is truly willing to cross the terror barrier of self-disclosure again and again to find that place of true connection.” –Mary Morrissey, author of Building Your Field of Dreams

“There is a total and utter richness that exists in being with ones’ soulmate. It is utopia.” –Carla Picardi

“Being a soulmate couple is a divine dance of both witnessing and being witnessed, celebrating and being celebrated. It’s that deep spiritual connection, unwavering acceptance and knowing that someone is always there to cover your back and will be with you no matter how bad a day you’re having.” –Jay Vogt and Stephanie Bennett Vogt, author of Your Spacious Self: Clear Your Clutter and Discover Who You Are

“Even when Vic and I are apart, I am totally relaxed in knowing that his love and devotion surround me and protect me. That kinds of love instills great confidence and it truly is a blessing.” –Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway, wedding officiant and author of Your Interfaith Wedding

“Everything tastes better when you share it with your soulmate.” –Carlos Santana

“The soulmate relationship is both the most gratifying and the most challenging of all relationships. It’s all good and for the highest good.  It’s the evolution of the individual and collective soul of lovers once separated and now united.  It’s cosmic completion! –Rev. Victor Fuhrman, co-author of Pet Prayers and Blessings

Are soulmate relationships always blissful? No, of course not. Soulmates have work to do in the world and it begins in their own relationships. Like all relationships, soulmate unions require time, energy, and attention. As Otto and Susie Collins so eloquently put it, “they require conscious effort to keep the relationship vibrant, alive and juicy.”

Despite the occasional upset, argument or breakdown, soulmates are committed to working through the issues with honesty and transparency, knowing that the foundation for their love is strong enough to weather the storm. Perhaps Stephanie Bennett Vogt explains it best, “Having a soulmate is a beautiful dance towards wholeness if you’re willing to allow and learn from the inevitable messy bumps that go with the territory of being in a relationship.”

Wishing you love, laughter and magical kisses,

Arielle